It’s absolutely dreary outside. The kind of day that just makes you want to roll over and go back to sleep. Raindrops pelting against my window and making me wish that I could fall asleep…but I can’t.
It’s the kind of day that makes you think of all the sad things in life. I miss my parents. They have been gone too long. I miss my Dad’s sense of humor and my Mom’s wisdom. Who am I kidding? I miss everything about them. I miss them most on rainy days.
When I was a kid, my Mom would always find something to do for my brother and I. She’d pick one of us to play D.J. and she’d teach us to dance or we’d cover the table with newspaper and finger paint. She always had something up her sleeve to make the rainy days better.
My Dad was a born comedian. He always made me smile. From the time I was a baby, he would light up the room for me. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t make me laugh. He wrote his own jokes and they were mostly corny, but they were always funny. When I broke and dislocated my wrist, he sat with me in the Emergency Room waiting room telling bad jokes and making me laugh. I could use that sense of humor now when things are broken. Things seem broken all the time.
My parents always had the answer. Even if the answer was something you didn’t want to hear. They would make the hard answers easier to take by telling you that it would all work out and that they would see you through. I miss the safe place to fall, the place where they know you and love you despite all the stupid mistakes you’ve made. I miss that most of all.
Someday, I hope that my daughter will remember me with the same fondness I remember my parents. It is a cruel twist of fate that we don’t understand how important and amazing our parents are until we are older. Until we fail at being like they were. Until we can’t say thank you for being so great. Until rainy days come down on you so hard that you want to cry and run for the unconditional love that only they could provide.